Thinking Back...

So needless to say, I am terrible at keeping up with my blog posts. I can't say that I am going to get better, but what I can say is that looking back on this past year and how much has happened, I am in awe of where God has and is continuing to lead me.

On September 9th 2011, at the age of 21 I embarked on a journey to Ottawa that forever has changed my life. It was a turning point for me. It stretched me, molded me, wrecked me. But it also taught me that the vision I had for my life was so small compared to the one My heavenly Father had for me.

I left my small city not really expecting anything and yet expecting everything at the same time.  I knew God had called me to go do the internship, but I wasn't sure why. Maybe I still don't. All I know, is that during those three months I was able to dedicate my life solely to seeking my Father's face which set a deep fire in my soul that was and is unquenchable.

Don't get me wrong. It was the hardest thing to come back home. To leave a place that had become so familiar and so comfortable and coming back to the unknown. It felt like someone had taken my heart and was ripping it to shreds over and over again. I was confused, lonely and left wondering where God was taking me.

However, during those months of late night tears and anger, the fire that was fanned in Ottawa still continued to grow as I held fast to the promise that my God is faithful and He keeps His promises.

And He is so faithful! He placed me in a school where my heart for children was solidified. He has placed me in a family (as a nanny) of 7 kids where I constantly see His heart in their eyes. He surrounded me with family and friends that have spoken hope and life into me.

Yes, some days are still hard. I catch glimpses of what my heart longs for and it causes me to get restless for what's around the corner. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that even in the midst of the wilderness, where I don't know anything, He knows everything. As it says in Philippians 1:6 (NLT) "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns".